How do aspects of culture and identity get constructed in family contexts? Some focus on the significance of mothering identities.
My answer in relation to this question draws much from Hall’s (1996) standpoint, which holds that identification is “constructed” through difference. The way in which we visualise and understand the world around us is heavily influenced by our peers, level of education, social class position, gender, and finally our family upbringing. Many of these factors help us construct a sense of self. Not all identities carry the same family upbringing which is why we all differ from one another. Certain identities are more privileged than others in modern western societies due to their gender, sexuality and race. Identities are not pre-set, i.e. the stereotypical female and male gender roles are performed based on the preconceived notions propagated by the norms of our society. In this view, “identities are cultural constructions rather than pre-set” (J. Butler, 1993).
Research has shown that the traditional focus of family places more attention on biological parent-child relationships whilst paying less attention on other relationships that constitute the family experience. In this essay, I will partly be focusing on the role of the mother identity in family contexts. The definition of family based on the formalisation of marriage and blood collides with the functional definition of family referring to love and nurturance. A sociological definition would suggest a family is “A social group characterized by common residence, economic cooperation and reproduction” (Murdock, 1949). Through the characterisations of the ‘social group’, each member of the family’s identity as well as culture is constructed. Margaret Mead, an American anthropologist described ‘culture’ as: “the learned behaviour of a society or a subgroup”. I will be exploring how culture and identity are constructed within the ‘subgroup’ of a family focusing on the recent changes of the role of the mother.
I will firstly be discussing theories of identity and how it is constructed. The essay will then follow onto a discussion of mothering identities in different cultures particularly of the South Asian community.
Identity:
Through identity, we can connect and distance ourselves from one another as individuals. It is formed by the qualities and attributes we each hold which makes us different from each other. Developing unique personalities allows us to have this individuality. Gilroy (1998) deems identity as something that is an on-going process. We become influenced through social interaction disregarding essentialists claims of having fixed identities. Identity today can be viewed as flexible as well as something that is constructed socially as opposed to the essentialists view of identity being unchangeable and secure (Gilroy, 1998). This indicates identities are constructed through discussion therefore, some aspects of our identity can be chosen whilst the remaining aspects are enforced on us from society. According to Kershen (1998), individuals have numerous identities in a contemporary society as it is impossible to have one identity. This is due to the complexities spawned from modernity concerning subjects of religion, race etc. An example of this would be a British-Bengali, Muslim, heterosexual women. Here we have her national identity, racial identity, religious identity, sexual identity and gendered identity. The transition from modernity to post-modernity identity concepts have modified from a fixed view of identity to multiplicity and flexibility. (Bauman 1996, p.18)
We construct our identities through sameness and difference (Hall, 1996). This is how we connect ourselves to certain groups whilst distinguishing ourselves against others. According to this, when we establish who we seem as different from us, we can identify with those who we consider to be the same. For example: I know that I am ‘this’ because you are not. The theory of identity being evident through difference is supported by Woodward (1998). She suggests that identity is defined by binaries such as black/white, male/female, heterosexual/homosexual. This categorisation in binary arrangement interlinks with the development of ‘othering’ (Gilroy, 1998). The process of ‘othering’ is when it is believed that the group that we identify with are superior to other groups which are different, whether related to gender, race or sexuality. Otherness can be rooted in essentialists ideals where by identity is fixed. In the section about mothering identities, I will be exploring the different stereotypes concerning motherhood.
Motherhood and mothering identities:
Women have constantly been challenged with issues concerning what it means to be a ‘good mother’ or the ‘perfect wife’. Although times continue to change, issues regarding 21st century mothers, remain like the ones addressed in the past. Many women in the 21st century are still confronted with the issue regarding the ‘housewife’ stereotype which is a type of mothering identity. One mothering identity that currently remains in the present day is the housewife identity. A housewife refers to a married woman whose main function and occupation is taking care of her family as well as managing household affairs whilst doing housework.
The feminist movement has provided women with more rights in the present day. While progression has taken place, these changes have influenced society’s view of housewives. The portrayal of motherhood and being a ‘housewife’ is determined by expectations which society has established. These expectancies have expanded, which now effect how housewives are depicted in different cultures. Limited knowledge such as backwardness in social class and lack of education were responsible for women’s inferior position in society.
Motherhood is one of the issues which has split feminist movements. Many feminists have positively regarded motherhood as something that connects and unites all women as one identity. On the other hand, motherhood has also been one of the reasons women rights and equality were opposed. This is known as the process of ‘othering’. (Gilroy, 1998) as men are deemed as superior to women. A critical approach to motherhood was taken by feminists, they regarded the rejection of motherhood as an obstacle to gaining equality. This position was supported by de Beauvoir in her book “The Second Sex”. She regarded motherhood as the main feature which caused women to be seen as “others” (1953, p.525). She argues that motherhood is see as the essence of a woman’s life and fulfills their destiny.
Societal perceptions of motherhood have changed significantly over the last century and continue to change. Due to traditional and stereotypical gender roles, the concept of motherhood has previously been concealed in the concept of womanhood. The idea that a woman’s ability to reproduce was seen to be an essential part of her identity. Thus, there existed societal pressures and expectations to fit into the impossible notion of being the “perfect mother” identity. As the feminist movement gained more popularity, this allowed women to be incorporated into the workforce (Thomson, R. 2011). Thus, these traditional views of gender roles and motherhood identity were challenged. Family dynamics that exist today are more diverse however, what makes a “good” mother and a “bad” mother is a debatable topic till this day.
In the past, some feminists rejected motherhood as they believed there was no escaping the patriarchal oppression that remained within. However, feminist scholars now argue that motherhood can be less oppressive and more empowering (Gross, E 1998). Feminist mothers work to challenge the traditional views of “motherhood” to use it as a platform for activism. As these gender roles are challenged, the feminist movement has allowed women to redefine the significance of what it means to be a mother in our society and the influence of the mother’s role in family contexts. Thus, constructing the mothering identity as a representative platform for women’s rights. Western society was mainly influenced by the feminist movement. It has resulted in women having the right to make individual decisions and choices as well as leading to more employment for women at near to equivalent wages (Thomson, R. 2011). The rise of female employment has created a conflict between housewives and mothers who work. In addition, female employment provides men with the opportunity to stay at home and become the primary caregiver thus reconstructing the role of the mothering identity.
An important area of conflict is the transition from “womanhood” to “motherhood”. It can be argued that when women become mothers, they lose their gender identity for a motherhood identity. Bailey (1999) found in her study of self-identity and the transition to motherhood: “the process of individualization which dominates the rest of these women’s lives receded with the imminence of motherhood” (p. 344). This suggests we are forced to recognise “crucial implications for both a sense of self and presentation of self as a mother” (Miller, 2005, p. 14) whilst understanding our identity as women as well as our identity as mothers.
By accepting the identity of mother, certain performances are expected. Women may have a ‘choice’ to become mothers but they do not choose the performance that is expected for them to carry out as a mother. These expectations construct this identity(J. Butler, 1993). Butler (2008) writes: “Identity categories tend to be instruments of regulatory regimes” (p. 166). Motherhood is not an exception to this regulation. If a mother does not follow certain pre-set regulations, they are subject to negative consequences. Butler (2008) suggests this about gender but it can also be applied to the notion of motherhood: “It is a compulsory performance in the sense that acting out of line with…norms brings with it punishment” (p. 174). This indicates if rules are not followed that establish good motherhood ideology, they may be labeled as a “bad” mother.
Tiger mum phenomenon:
Geertz (1983) argues culture is not inherent, it is “systemised”. Around the globe, people live different cultural lives which means our common-sense differs according to our experiences. A similar view of this is of Talcott Parsons (1955) who highlights “the functions a family will depend on the kind of society in which it is found”. For example: The Tiger mum phenomenon was introduced by a famous writer called Amy Chua. Tiger mum commonly refers to a dictatorial and stringent mother who forces her children to attain the highest levels in academia, whilst compromising the child’s social and psychological well-being (Chua, A 2014). This method is customarily used by families in East Asia and Southeast Asia. Tiger mums are those who focus only on education and schoolwork and set boundaries that may entail allowing their child to only undertake activities which will benefit their education. Such mothers will not allow their child to partake in social activities in the fear that it would hinder the child’s chances of success. Tiger mums are said to exert psychological control over their children which limits their identity formation. If children do not meet their parents’ expectations, tiger mums can emotionally blackmail their children or at times apply low-level physical punishment. The children of a tiger mum are not allowed to make their own decisions in relation to their education or their life daily. Tiger mums push their children to succeed academically regardless of the child’s competence, capabilities or passion for studying. A child’s day will be occupied with educational classes, even after school which will be set by the mum. This form of parenting is acceptable in Asian cultures such as China, South Korea, Malaysia and Philippines. Whereas western cultures, forceful parenting is viewed as abuse. Although, children brought up with tiger mums have gone on to achieve the highest levels of academia, studies have shown that these children experienced psychiatric issues: anxiety and depression (Chua, A 2014). The implications are that while children are learning discipline and achieving high levels in education, it could be to the detriment of their psychological and emotional well-being.
Cultural Identity and Gender:
The different ways in which a family communicates “shape how members perceive their social environments and how they communicate within and outside of the family” (Schrodt et al., (2008) within certain family contexts, there is a huge distinction on how males and females are treated and thus this could lead to the construction of their culture and identity. Historically, girls in the Indian, Bangladeshi and Pakistani culture were inferior to boys. Boys were encouraged to be educated in school so that they could go on to get good jobs in the future and earn enough to look after the family. Sita Anantha Raman highlights in her book Women of India:
“In precolonial India, girls were taught either informally at home and in village schools. Many girls thus maintained their cultural traditions even when men began to focus on western history and its literature” (2009)
This suggests girls were most likely to embrace their cultural identity and values than boys. Girls were also educated on how to be a housewife and look after children, the aim of which was to get them married as soon as possible. In her book, the changing status of women in West Bengal, Jasodhara Bagchi states “In the age group 15 to 19, over 33 per cent of women in west Bengal and 35 per cent in India as a whole were married in 1991”. This suggests a girl’s identity in India is constructed within marriage as belonging to her husband at a young age. Girls were seen as a burden, costing their parents money, whereas boys were seen as the heirs and breadwinners once old enough.
A global poll conducted by Thomson Reuters (2017) rated India as the “fourth most dangerous country” globally for women. Gender discrimination is not only inequitable but also obstructs the development of the nation. For centuries, woman and their rights have been oppressed by the dominance of men. There has been continued struggle for the recognition of woman’s cultural roles and achievements, and for their social and political rights. It was very much a patriarchal society for woman, which hindered or prevented woman from realizing their productive possibilities. They have been oppressed to a point where they were treated as ‘others’ (Gilroy, 1998). Thus, to fight against the said issues women have changed their role in the society significantly after the First World War. Twenty first century has brought in dramatic changes in the ambitions and attitudes of women. Women have departed from their traditional role of reproducers, mothers and wives to now being employees, independent and assertive. Financial income of the family has also increased leading to better standards of living. However, this significant change has disadvantages too. It can be argued due to both working parents, the children suffer as their cultural knowledge is incomplete. Children are losing the moral values that are taught by mothers. The quality time which a mother used to spend with her children is missing and thus the construction of their culture and identity is limited.
Despite women’s emancipation, there will always be a shadow of doubt when hiring a female. A recent study carried out by the University of London (2016) revealed that 70% of the big companies are still more likely to accept a man, just because he is a man, rather than a more experienced and competent woman. This reliable research proves that people’s way of thinking cannot be changed, diminishing women’s chances of success in their careers. This is still apparent in certain cultures.
Radical feminists like Kate Millet (1970) and Shulamith Firestone (1970) view the family and marriage as the fundamental foundations in a male-dominated society. Notwithstanding the growth in married women working during the 20th century, a woman’s principal responsibility continues to be of a housewife role. Jonathon Gershuny (1994) discovered that married women who held jobs still undertook 83% of housework. Feminist, Ann Oakley (1974) disapproves of Young and Wilmott’s interpretation that the family is now ‘symmetrical’ (Oakley, 2011). During her own investigation on housewives, she unearthed findings that whilst husbands can provide some help in the home, she did not find any evidence of a movement towards full symmetry. She found that the proportion of husbands who had a high level of involvement in housework was merely 15%.
Whilst such cultures have progressed over time in cities, such culture is still prevalent in the poorer areas. For example, a family in a remote village such as Deerai in Bangladesh, still hold the belief that boys need to be educated to be able to earn for the family whereas girls’ education will be a waste of money as they will be married soon. The implications for learning and forming identity can differ. Whilst some girls in such cultures will succumb to their parents’ wishes of getting married to be looked after by their husband, there are now a growing number of girls who try to educate themselves to be able to attend school. There is a growing number of schools that are being established by charities from the UK encouraging girls to become educated. For example, a charity from the UK that was set up by those who are ethnically Bangladeshi but are British Citizens, are striving to change the culture, thoughts and perceptions of people in poorer villages, not only in explaining the importance of education but also explaining the benefits of females being educated. There is a growing number of charities which are actively trying to attain gender equality in education and the workforce in Bangladesh. It is interesting to see how Bengali people in the UK have a different culture and mind-set in terms of education compared to Bengali people in Bangladesh.
Family:
Another way in which identity is constructed within family contexts is through interpersonal interactions with members of the family. The social learning theory suggests people learn through direct and indirect observation (Bandura, A. 1977). Positive reinforcement allows learning to be absorbed into their repertoire of behaviours. This constructs the base of their identity. The first stage for learning to take place is focusing on a model, a child would consider their parents or older siblings as a role model for example a mothering identity. Through observing their behaviour, they would imitate their actions depending on the consequences of performing that behaviour. Learning through interpersonal interactions is given great significance because through this your identity can be formed.
Interconnected members are a primary concept in the family systems theory. It is said each member can influence another in predictable and recurring ways (Van Velsor & Cox 2000). Our families teach us skills that allow us to function in formal settings such as the workplace or school. For example, as a child my siblings would always play ‘the school game’ with me at home allowing me to gain experience in a school like manner. In Parson’s (1956) view, two essential functions of a modern nuclear family are “the primary socialisation of children to equip them with basic skills and society’s views to enable them to cooperate with others and begin to integrate them into society”. This is similar to the view of Kern & Peluso (2004) who describes our family experience as shaping ‘our expectations to how the larger world will interact with us’. For example, the way in which children are equipped to survive in a school would be directed by a parental figure. My father would tell me to stay out of trouble, always do my homework and listen to my teachers. Conversely, my mother would advise me against befriending people who would get me into trouble and tell me to respect others. This created an expectation in my mind as to how the world may interact with me.
Learning is the internalisation of a discrete set of cognitive skills through participation as well as engagement. These skills construct your identity. Lave and Wenger support this statement. They highlight children learn about culture through participating as members of “communities of practice” (1991). Rogoff’s understanding is similar to the views of Lave and Wenger: “The organised and common practices of particular communities is in which children live” (1990: 110). This is demonstrating values and traditions are set at home within family contexts. ‘Common practices’ could be referring to culture therefore culture is constructed within family communities. Learning is embedded in the social, cultural and historical context in which the child is socialised. Vygotsky discusses: learning occurs across three planes which is the sociohistorical: the historical context in which a family or culture group is situated, the interpersonal: the interactions between individuals in a family and the intrapersonal: within the individual. His main argument about the zone of proximal development can be summarised as follows:
“It is the distance between actual developmental level as determined by independent problem solving and the level of potential development as determined through problem solving under adult guidance or in collaboration with more capable peers” (Vygotsky 1978: 86)
He distinguishes the distance between what the learner can accomplish on their own and what they can accomplish with the support of others. What the child can learn on his own is his ‘actual development’ whereas what he learns under guidance is his ‘potential development’. Vygotsky would argue some aspects of culture and identity to an extent is constructed within family contexts as being in ‘collaboration’ and having interpersonal experiences with members leads up to the level of potential development of an identity forming. The implications of the child learning within family contexts is that he’d have an understanding on culture but it would be under the influence of individuals in his family.
Through Rogoff’s research with Mayan children learning how to weave baskets, the results demonstrated children depend on others with more experience through guided participation. It is said: “interactions between children and their caregivers provide the children with thousands of opportunities to observe and participate in the skilled activities of their culture.” (1990: 351) This suggests interaction between a parent and a child, particularly the mother, is an important factor when constructing one’s culture as it provides them with a model to observe. “Through repeated experience in supported routine and challenging situations, children become skilled practitioners in their specific cognitive activities in their communities” (Rogoff 1990: 351). Therefore, when an experience is repeated for a child, they learn cognitive skills. For example, if parents are constantly speaking in one specific language, a child will pick it up and learn to associate that language with their identity. In 1983, the practises in the communities of white working class and rural black working class were contrasted to the practises in urban middle class school oriented literacy in the US by Heath. The example provided was of a black working class woman explaining how she expects her grandson who was a toddler to learn how to talk in culturally appropriate ways. This shows within certain families, culture is given importance and is expected to be carried out by the child at a young age. Judging by this example alone, we can conclude the construction of culture within black families are known to be given much more importance than of white families.
Although in “guided participation” the child is viewed as an active meaning-maker, there is an assumption that there is an unequal relationship between the child and the experienced adult or peer. Synergy (Gregory 2001) highlights how children and adults learn equally from one another. For example, learning between a grandchild and their grandparents or through peers such as siblings in informal contexts. This leads to the internalisation of linguistic and cultural learning. Syncretism as “creatively resulting from reconciliation of difference or as simply a juxtaposition or mixing together of different contrasting elements” (Gregory et al 2012: 3). Contrasting elements could imply a fusion of traditions and beliefs regarding culture. Traditionally the adult of the family teaches the younger member in most aspects of life. For example, correct grammar being taught by a grandparent. However, it is interesting to note that nowadays the role can be reversed in certain fields. For example: a younger member of the family teaching an older member how to use a smartphone or other technology.
Household activities are underpinned by cultural artefacts and are handed down from generation to generation as part of becoming a member of a community of practice. They illustrate the importance of communities of learners within large cultural and family networks. Kenner et al studied how grandparents and young children exchange knowledge in learning events in Bengali and English speaking families with toddlers. The findings showed through the support from grandparents, the child is treated as an equal partner in learning culture. This, therefore makes the child an expert in tasks they could not do alone. The key contribution towards learning was language. Performing activities with grandparents helps the child develop skills that will complement school learning. The implications of this suggests studies of home learning should be an integral part of initial teacher and education development. Grandparents should be key partners in home-school liaison. Family learning programmes should include grandparents.
Culture and identity can be shaped by a country of residence, ethnic origin and by family dynamics and behaviours generally. Most children begin by developing an identity from those that they are around at home such as parents or siblings. These people are the ones they can look up to as role models or often imitate. A person, may be told from a young age that you should respect your elders or to listen to teachers. Such notions can develop further in a child’s mind set and may evolve into listening to those who are in a position of authority for example. The reflexive aspect of identity means that identity as a ‘project’. “Identity is not fixed and is multifaceted” (Kershen, 1998). It is flexible in that it expands with time. Whilst a child starts with a familial identity, it can mould over time when a child is influenced by their peers or colleagues. Vygotsky (1978) viewed the ‘self’ as a complex emergent phenomenon continually produced in and by individuals in their interchanges with others.
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