Mentor Reflection Paper
This semester was extremely beneficial for both my soul and for my leadership development. There were several moments through my mentoring and training that my pastor shared with me moments of wisdom that stuck with me when it related to my leadership of others within the church. Those moments were setting the pace as men in our families and culture, denial one’s self for the sake of mission, and not to be afraid to talk about giving because we worship a God that gave the ultimate price.
Setting the Pace As Men
One of the most important things that I learned this semester from my mentor was knowing the significance of our call as men to spiritually set the pace for our lives, families, church, and culture.
If there is anything evident in our culture, it is the brokenness of the family unit. Husbands are discouraged, wives feel unloved, and children are confused and lost in between them. Cultures rise and fall on the family unit. Studies have shown conclusive results that in societies (big or small, city or village) where the family unit flourishes, so does the culture. Likewise, where the family unit is broken, the results are devastating.
The Bible makes it unmistakably clear that men are called to lead the charge within not only their families, but their culture as well. Men have been given a task to worship Jesus passionately, live their lives sacrificially, love others unconditionally, and work tirelessly. In the Bible, when the man gave his life to the Lord, the family followed suit. While at some level this was cultural, it also displayed the man’s leadership within his family. In other words, it revealed this principle: Men set the pace for change.
This task is not promised to be easy, but it is promised to be rewarding. You must work hard to join the race and establish this pace that you may be able to say with the Apostle Paul that you have finished the race and have kept the faith. My unashamed hope and prayer is that my life is marked by glorifying God’s name within my family. I feel that I am leaving this semester encouraged to lead my lives, family, church, and culture well; to set the pace in each area of my influence.
Self-Denial and Mission
One of the greatest things that my mentor taught me was how important it is to be a man of self-denial that leads to mission to the community of people around me. If I am ever going to make the gospel non-ignorable in my city, I will have to first deny the person I love the most: myself.
When the Lord Jesus lays upon us the prerequisite to come and deny ourselves before following him, we must not consider it a mean or unnecessarily harsh thing from him. Jesus is inviting us into a life with him that is full of true and real joy, but he knows that we cannot and will not experience that joy if we try and enter it how we are.
From the earliest moments of childhood we are inundated with selfish tendencies. We do not have to be taught how to be selfish. We are merely born into it. As children we are not naturally inclined to share toys, provide for others or put others well-being over and against our own. As we see our parents model these behaviors for us and prayerfully discipline us for our good, we begin over time to see the merits of these virtues. Nonetheless, the gravitational pull of our hearts is an inward pull, not an outward pull.
Jesus knows this, and therefore when he calls his disciples into this new life of joy that is only found in relationship with him, he first calls them to something difficult: self-denial. He calls each and every disciple to first declare war upon the inward bend of their hearts. This is so unlike our current cultural norm, which teaches us that our primary problem in life is a lack of self-esteem. No, Jesus says that our primary problem is an unhealthy relationship with ourselves.
Jesus knows this condition all too well. He sees the prisons we flail about in and he calls us out of them. Self-denial does not neglect self-care, but runs to the only one who can truly care for the self and is humbled at his feet. We deny ourselves in order to truly know ourselves. Until we have denied ourselves, we are merely slaves to the false image we long to portray as lovable or the one that we consistently convince ourselves is too hideous to be lovable.
It is only through Jesus’ way of self-denial that we find true joy and freedom from self-slavery in the love of a better master. Jesus calls us to himself in order to reveal to us who we were created to be. He calls us to a better view of self in light of a grander view of God.
In this fellowship, not only are our identities set right by the mysterious power of self-denial, but we are brought into a meaningful and purposeful mission. Jesus calls us outside of ourselves to know and worship the One, True God. He simultaneously makes his call to others through us. The path of self-denial inevitably brings the Christian to the doorstep of the lost and dying world around them. One of the greatest litmus tests of true self-denial is to survey whether or not you are moved and grieved by the lost, least and left out all around you.
It is here that Jesus calls us for our joy. The call to self-denial and mission is not a masochistic call. It is a firm, but lovely invitation from our Savior. He not only seeks to free us from our most powerful and paralyzing prisons, but to use us as emancipators for the world he died to save.
First, we look to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. All things are from him and for him. Second, we look to the good of our neighbor whom God has called us to love and serve. Finally, we examine ourselves to ensure that we are rooted and grounded in the faith of the gospel which saves and sustains us to the uttermost.
Don’t Be Afraid To Talk About Giving
One of the most more interesting bits of advice that I was given this semester from my mentor when it came to leading the church was to not be afraid to talk about the topic of giving. This topic is often talked about either in an unbiblical way that exalts the self or isn’t talked about at all due to fear. However, if Jesus was willing to make this one of His most talked about subjects, then so should we.
In Christ, the extravagant generosity of our Heavenly Father is made obvious. In Christ, every Christian who ever lived was given infinitely more than he/she deserved. In Christ, our lives and lifestyles now have eternal significance. And in Christ, our duty to give becomes an incredible privilege.
Every spending decision has spiritual ramifications. Every dollar—whether spent, saved, or given—accomplishes something, and this reality requires that we slow down, examine our hearts, and repent if necessary. Spending, saving, and giving can each be a spiritual act of worship, but even when the line seems blurry, this we can know: We are never more like Jesus than when we lay down our own self-interest for the sake of God's mission.
Jesus wants us to live with complete and total security, so He won't allow us to find security in things that simply aren't secure (Matt. 6:19). Since our most valuable possession is already secure in Christ, giving is the safest investment we can make (Matt. 6:20).
God has never needed our money (Ps. 50:10–12). But He loves us and graciously invites us to take part in what He's doing. So in light of such a gracious offer, our bank statements have as much to say about our spiritual condition as the vitality of our prayers or the underlining in our bibles. It’s true that our use of money is a spiritual discipline. Too often, though, we view giving as an act of self-denial; we're primarily concerned with what we're sacrificing as individuals. But what if we began to see our giving in light of what’s gained? What if our personal abstinence were secondary to the priority of loving both God and neighbor with our finances?
Under
the Law, God disciplined His people according to timeless, God-honoring principles in preparation for their freedom in Christ. Astoundingly, we're now characterized by the indwelling of God Himself (Gal. 4:6). So for God’s people to be less generous under grace is a disgrace. With our great and glorious and costly freedom comes a great and glorious and costly responsibility. God works mightily through a people who are willing to give, willing to serve, and willing to die. But when we rob God, we rob ourselves of this great joy.