Everyone has been there before, in the midst of all your feelings towards a person. In Zadie Smith’s, “The Girl with Bangs,” the unnamed narrator reflects on her lesbian love affair with Charlotte Greaves back in college. Blinded by lust, the narrator’s short-lived infatuation affected her by deconstructing her sense of sexual curiosity, freedom, and emotional logic which are all jeopardized by Charlotte’s black bangs and led to the turmoil of leaving the narrator undone in her life values.
From the beginning of the story, the narrator mentions she was “in love with a girl once,” thus introducing the fact of sexual attraction towards a girl (Smith 1). However, it was unclear that the narrator was a woman until she mentions, “I became a boy for the duration…” which supports the fact of her sexual curiosity (Smith 3). Noticeably, upon laying eyes on Charlotte was her look of “Bedroom Eyes,” which is a big factor in the role of lust in the growing infatuation of the narrator since she was dripping with sex in the way she carried herself (Smith 2). Subsequently, the narrator’s curiosity was the main trigger in her infatuation towards Charlotte, leading to the extremes of switching gender roles. Even though Charlotte was known for sleeping with multiple partners, she believed that somehow she could win Charlotte over by doing “all the old boy tricks” and somehow time would take over the cause-and-effect of love tactics (Smith 3). Throughout her journey of blind infatuation, the narrator became oblivious to the reality of Charlotte’s promiscuity and how it would make her incapable of love.
The narrator’s experience can be further understood through the lens of psychoanalytic theory, particularly Sigmund Freud’s concepts of desire and projection. Freud suggested that human behavior is driven by unconscious desires and conflicts. In this context, the narrator’s intense attraction to Charlotte can be seen as a projection of her own unacknowledged desires and fears. Her attempt to become “a boy” to win Charlotte’s affection could be viewed as a manifestation of her internal struggle with her sexual identity and societal norms.
Alongside sexual curiosity was the effect it had on the narrator’s freedom. Being infatuated with Charlotte was very time-consuming for the narrator since she was constantly on her mind. As soon as Maurice left on his business trip, she took advantage of the extra time she had with Charlotte, alone. Not only did this jeopardize her physical freedom but also her mental freedom. The narrator took many mental notes about Charlotte and went out of her way to study her by degrees “in the library, watching her hair make reading difficult” and “sitting next to her at lunch watching the bangs go hither,” gradually Charlotte and her bangs started revolving around her life (Smith 3). Her main attraction was Charlotte’s bangs, covering all her flaws since she was neither good nor intellectual, but none of this mattered since the narrator was stuck under the spell of the bangs (Smith 4). Finally getting a taste of being a boy, the narrator was reaching her peak of the infatuation to get Charlotte to obtain mutual feelings, and her thought was “there’s nothing” she would not do to still win her over in time (Smith 5).
Michel Foucault’s theory of power and subjectivity can provide another layer of understanding here. Foucault argued that power is not just repressive but also productive; it shapes individuals’ desires and identities. The narrator’s obsession with Charlotte and her attempt to change herself to fit Charlotte’s desires can be seen as a form of self-discipline, where she internalizes societal norms and expectations about gender and sexuality. This self-discipline ultimately limits her freedom and autonomy, highlighting the pervasive influence of societal power structures on individual behavior.
Before the climax, the last thing that was affected was the narrator’s emotional logic. Since the beginning, she knew what she was getting into when having an affair with a woman in an open relationship. The narrator’s time was up when Maurice came back and decided to propose to Charlotte, also the girl “who had taken [her] apart piece by piece,” and admits that she realizes how “(un)done” she has become (Smith 9). This reality check opens her eyes to the infatuation she was feeling and how it was better to let go of her goal of trying to win Charlotte over. Ironically, when the narrator mentions, “…it is almost always women and not men who are waiting under windows,” Charlotte was the “man” to leave the female narrator disappointed even when the narrator thought she was being the man (Smith 11).
This dynamic can be analyzed through Judith Butler’s theory of performativity. Butler posits that gender is not a stable identity but rather a set of repeated acts and performances based on societal expectations. The narrator’s attempt to perform masculinity to attract Charlotte can be seen as an example of gender performativity. However, this performance ultimately fails to bring her the desired outcome, suggesting the limitations and fluidity of gender roles and identities.
In the end, the narrator was only infatuated with Charlotte in a short-lived manner, which gave the narrator a blunt reality check. This story can show how the bangs broke down the young life of the narrator but ironically helped her mature and become accepting of the different courses life may take her. Overcoming infatuation over the hot mess was the emotional breakthrough that changed the narrator’s life.
From a psychological perspective, the narrator’s experience can be further understood through the framework of attachment theory. According to John Bowlby, early relationships with caregivers shape individuals’ attachment styles, which influence their future romantic relationships. The narrator’s intense attachment to Charlotte, despite the lack of reciprocity, might reflect an anxious attachment style, characterized by a deep fear of abandonment and a strong desire for closeness. This attachment style often leads to emotional turmoil and difficulty in maintaining healthy relationships.
Furthermore, the concept of limerence, introduced by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, can also shed light on the narrator’s feelings. Limerence refers to an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person. The narrator’s obsessive thoughts about Charlotte, her idealization of Charlotte’s physical appearance (especially her bangs), and her willingness to change herself to win Charlotte’s affection are all indicative of limerence. This state of infatuation, while powerful, is often temporary and can lead to disillusionment once the limerent object fails to meet the idealized expectations.
In conclusion, Zadie Smith’s “The Girl with Bangs” provides a rich exploration of infatuation, identity, and societal norms through the lens of a college lesbian love affair. The narrator’s journey of self-discovery and emotional growth is shaped by her intense, short-lived attraction to Charlotte, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of her own desires and limitations. By incorporating academic theories from psychoanalysis, power dynamics, gender performativity, attachment theory, and limerence, we gain a comprehensive understanding of the complex interplay between individual emotions and societal influences. This story serves as a poignant reminder of the transformative power of infatuation and the importance of self-awareness in navigating the complexities of love and identity.