A father-son bond is essential and often complicated, son’s look at their fathers as role models, following in their footsteps. Alternatively, look at their fathers and want to be the opposition of them, deciding to cut them out their fathers from their lives completely. The novel “Things fall apart,” by Chinua Achebe, takes place in Umuofia, a town named of great titles, traditions and vibrant culture. Okonwko, our main character, grew from having a father who had a terrible titled to have the highest position. Okonkwo is proud of his name, would not want anyone changing that. Although Okonkwo feels deeply betrayed by his son’s conversion to Christianity, his abuse of his son is what leads to Nwoye’s conversion. Okonkwo’s dislikes “unsuccessful” men like his father, tries to prevent Nwoye from becoming like Unoka and relationship with his father and Nwoye wanting to get back at his father for the mistreatment.
Okonkwo had a terrible relationship with his father growing up; he resented his father and his persona. Meaning, his father was soft, and Okonwko was an influential man. Unoku lived a life of debt with many people of the village and never built a future for himself. Compared to himself, he was aspiring to build a name for himself and become someone significant in his village and never wanting to resemble his father, someone low. Okonwko was someone who wanted to be seen manly, not soft. “He had no patience with unsuccessful men” (4) He believes his father was not worth anything and could not support a son. “He had had no patience with his father.”(4) Okonkwo never wanted to be associated with his father. His father was someone of nothingness, Okonkwo on the other hand, created his reputation and a foundation for him and his family. Oppose to his father, who lived a life of borrowed and living in so much debt that Okonkwo was left with nothing.
The generational conflict between fathers and sons in “Things Fall Apart” extends beyond personal relationships and reflects broader societal changes. Okonkwo’s rejection of his father’s ways and his subsequent harshness towards Nwoye are symptomatic of his desire to adhere strictly to traditional Igbo values and his fear of appearing weak. However, Nwoye’s conversion to Christianity signifies a shift towards new ideologies and the younger generation’s search for identity outside their fathers’ shadows. This clash between the old and the new, tradition and change, highlights the inevitable transformation that societies undergo and the personal turmoil that accompanies such transitions.
Okonkwo and Nwoye have higher differences than similarities. Nwoye would not be perceived as a replica of his father. Instead, innumerable similar to his grandfather. Okonkwo sees the resemblance of Nwoye and his very own father. “[..] Nwoye, was then twelve years old but was already causing his father great anxiety for his incipient laziness”. Okonkwo’s father was seen as a lazy man, never wanting to work, have fun. “At any rate, that was how it looked to his father, and he sought to correct him by constant nagging and beating.” (14) Nwoye is seen to be very sensitive, for his father that has considered womanish. Okonkwo wants to make sure his son is “manly” by using judgment and beatings that toughen him up. However, the father, Okonkwo, can beat his son so much to the point where Nwoye can suffer trauma — wanting to stay away from his very own father. Okonwko let out his frustration on Nwoye, making him recognize his father’s real interests, everything was about names for him. Besides towards their ruined father-son relationship, Nwoye having shared characters with Okonkwo’s father. Okonwko resented his father growing up, which is why seeing his son have the same qualities as his father infuriates him. Okonkwo does not want his son to grow up and be a woman. He wants him to become a man.
The cultural expectations placed upon men in Igbo society further complicate the father-son relationship. Okonkwo’s relentless pursuit of success and his rigid definition of masculinity leave little room for emotional expression or vulnerability. This societal pressure forces him to project his fears and insecurities onto Nwoye, perpetuating a cycle of emotional repression and violence. Nwoye’s sensitivity and inclination towards stories and songs, which his father deems unmanly, symbolize an alternative form of masculinity that is ultimately stifled by Okonkwo’s authoritarian parenting. This dynamic underscores the destructive nature of inflexible gender roles and the need for a more inclusive understanding of masculinity.
Whenever a son grows up in a terrible relationship; they revenge. Nwoye enduring many years of abuse decides to convert to Christianity against his father’s faith. Just like Okonkwo, un-associating himself with his father because he was “unsuccessful.” Nwoye converts to Christianity and deciding on turning his mother and siblings to accompany his path. This maddens his father, making him think how his son can turn his back on him. Although, this is only a comeback to when Okonkwo went against his father and cutting him out of his life. While Obierka and Nwoye were in the midsts of a conversation, Obierka asked Nwoye how his father was, Nwoye responds “I don’t know. He is not my father” in an unhappy tone. (144) Nwoye is removing himself from his father, no longer wanting anything to do with the man who has caused him abuse for years. Abuse because of the qualities he acquired from his grandfather. In reality, the conversion was only to get back at his father no matter how betrayed Okonkwo feels, everything he has done by the mistreating, criticism and abuse lead up to this conversion. However, Nwoye changed to Christianity because he had a different belief then the ones his father had decided for him.
In conclusion, the father-son relationship in “Things Fall Apart” exemplifies the complexities and conflicts inherent in familial bonds, particularly under the strain of cultural and generational shifts. Most parents try to fix their relationship with their sons; fathers will take the time to make sure they can rebuild a solid foundation with their son. Unfortunately, the lack of parental guidance or horrible guidance, in this case, has led both sons to do wrongful things. Okonkwo beat up Nwoye, and Nwoye turned against his father and became Christian. The purpose of a father-son relationship is to show your son what it means to be a man, not to let them become something you want them to be, because there will be horrible consequences. Ultimately, Achebe’s narrative reveals that a rigid adherence to traditional norms and an inability to adapt to changing times can fracture familial relationships and impede personal growth. Okonkwo’s and Nwoye’s tragic story serves as a poignant reminder of the need for empathy, understanding, and flexibility in navigating the complex dynamics of father-son relationships.
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