We are in an amazing era. An era where everything we want and everything we need to know is available at our fingertips. This new era of social media in turn makes even the largest of communities, across the world, seem much smaller. Because of this what many experienced as childhood bullying is now experienced on much more intense levels, and is experienced on a much larger scale. In an age where bullying is at its peak and teen suicides are at an all-time high, as a society we must ask ourselves what can we do? We must rely on one another in the community; we must as parents make our children feel safe to tell us what they are facing, we must act on behalf of the victims, and teach our children appropriately so that they each will know bullying can be stopped at the source.
First, to know what we are dealing with, let’s look at the definition of Cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying “can be defined as an aggressive and deliberate behavior that is frequently repeated over time, carried out by a group or an individual using electronics and aimed at a victim who cannot defend him- or her-self easily” (Lampridis). With a growth in Social Media apps and use of them amongst our youth, the growth of cyber-bullying also increases. Before, bullying of any sort use to take place in smaller more focused locations, such as the playground at an individual’s school, the cafeteria, the local park, etcetera. However, with social media the grips of bullying have a much further reach, now circulating videos and taunting its victims on many platforms.
Common features of both face-to-face and Cyber-bullying are threatening, insulting, spreading rumors, as well as sharing repetitiveness, power imbalance, and being intentional acts. The major difference between both forms is the reach that cyberbullying has versus that of face-to-face.
“Suicide is the third leading cause of death according to the Center for Disease Control. It results in about 4,400 deaths per year. Bullied victims are 7% to 9% more likely to consider suicide according to a study by Yale University. Studies in Britain have found half of the suicides among youth related to bullying” (nobullying.com).
One must present the question, when someone commits suicide: when it is one of our youth who chooses to take their own life, did they feel so alone that they felt that was the only way out? Why didn’t they feel as though they could talk to someone? Where was someone to reassure them that this moment of sadness and loneliness was just that, momentary? That the bullies and their words would soon fade into a distant memory. As someone who has 3 younger siblings, but also as a person who has known people to commit suicide, these questions are constantly in my mind.
I remember being bullied in the 6th grade by an 8th grader. She was relentless and cruel. I remember feeling hopeless and not wanting to go to school. I also remember being able to turn to my parents; I expressed my fears and concerns. My father said to me, “If this girl wants to fight you… You fight her! Don’t go looking for a fight; but if she comes at you and picks a fight with you, you swing your arms like a crazy person and fight! And even if you lose, at the end of the day I will take you out for ice cream!” This moment was a breaking point for me in my youth. My father, although perhaps not the most level headed person, made me realize that no matter what the outcome of dealing with this irrational bully was, I had the support of my parents no matter what. I never had to fight my bully, and at the end of my 6th grade year, never saw her again. I think back on this moment and try to put it into perspective on the level of it being in today’s social media craze! The feeling of desperation and sadness and fear I had would be amplified by one thousand! The platform these bullies are given is one that holds incredible power, and even greater consequences.
A great, necessary study was conducted in order to gauge a bystanders reaction when presented with cyber-bullying. The research involved a realistic Cyber-Bullying situation on a social-networking site, based upon young adult’s responses as bystanders involved in a Cyber-bullying situation. The study was primarily focused on how the young adult’s behaved as the bystanders in said situation, would they defend the victim or jump on the side of the bullies? The study presented a situation where two friends berated a third friend about how the third friend behaved at a recent social gathering. The participants in the study had the opportunity to comment along the thread of friend one and two. The study showed those showing higher levels of empathy were more likely to stand on the side of the victim or attempted to defuse the situation than those who expressed lower levels of empathy. There were 149 volunteer participants who were active Facebook users for more than 5 years. Out of the 149 volunteers 91% believed the conversation they witnessed involved bullying. Among the participants who chose to comment the most frequent response was one encouraging all parties to engage in a supportive intervention (Schultz). Although many participants felt as though the bullying took place during different points of the conversation, and despite the overwhelming agreement that indeed bullying was taking place, TOO many participants chose not to get involved at all. This is a major issue in our society: too many of us sit silently as bystanders, not wanting to get involved because, “it’s not our place.” This mindset has to change, if we expect to witness any change in our lifetime.
Additionally, not only does teaching the youth of today need to start in their homes; but such behavior as bullying is also often learned inside their home. My youngest brother was being bullied in the second grade, to help him understand and sympathize with the bully I told him, “Can you imagine what could possibly be occurring in this kids home. How he is treating you could quite possibly be a reflection of how he is being treated in his own home; by his own parents.” This seemed to really strike a chord with him and help him understand that there were things far worse than being bullied by someone you barely know. Being bullied by people who are supposed to love and protect you.
A recent study showed that girls are more likely to report being bullied than boys (Ockerman). The differences in bullying also varies depending upon gender. Where girls are more likely to have rumors spread about them and be called names, boys are far more likely to receive threats. The effects of being bullied run far deeper than just the initial consequence. Being bullied causes emotional and psychological distress that in turn can have a long term effect on the victim. The victim often time withdraws from their friends, secluding themselves from all things that once made them happy. As you can imagine, this is where the suicidal thoughts and tendencies come in to play.
“With 12.1% of all students who bullied others at least sometimes being also cyberbullies. Similarly, there was a significant overlap between school victimization and cyber-victimization, with 7.4% of all students who were victimized at school at least sometimes being also cyber-victimized” (Baldry).
There is an overlap in bullies; this makes it quite clear, bullies have no bounds and can reach victims by any means necessary.
National anti bullying legislation needs to be updated to include specific information on cyberbullying (Hinduja). “While no federal anti-bullying laws currently exist, forty-nine states have passed their own legislation to create a safe and secure environment within their school systems. However, these state bills vary on policies, procedures, and even definitions of bullying” (Taurino). bullying state laws are hard to enforce because of the administrative and financial burdens that they lay on schools. Also, many state laws are ineffective because they lack supervision. “Schools are reluctant to discipline students for off campus cyberbullying incidents because of the fear of being sued for violating a student’s First Amendment Free Speech rights. A school can only discipline a student for off campus speech if the speech materially disrupts school activities or substantially interferes with the rights of others” (Kraft). Having different policies can create implications among school districts, making a federal anti cyber bullying policy the best answer. A national anti bullying legislation would create a common form of discipline and decrease anti bullying around the country. If the United States government were to administer this type of legislation, federal law would truly be enforced as well as funded, removing all bullying related stress from schools.
According to Kraft in his International Journal of Cyber Criminology, anti- bullying programs in schools have succeeded with a 15% average reduction in bullying occurrences. However, when bystanders intervene in a bullying incident, the bullying reduced by an average of 57% within 10 seconds. The success of anti bullying programs can ultimately be determined by the bystander’s decision to stop or start bullying. In a survey that he conducted on 50 university students, 31.25% have been cyber bullied, 73.33% know someone that has been cyber bullied, 87.50% think that cyberbullying is common, 86.67% think that cyberbullying has serious consequences, and 75% think that they can prevent cyber bullying. This survey gives serious insight as to what college students think about Internet bullying. As given by the survey, most students have never been cyber bullied themselves but still consider it a serious issue. The last question was especially important because it proved that as bystanders, most university students truly believe that they would intervene in cyberbullying, increasing the likelihood of anti bullying program success.
Cyber bullying is like a disease that is spreading among the teen population. It is getting worse by the year and is a form of violence that has done permanent harm to many people. Online bullying is much more common than people think and the issue must be brought to light. In a world where it is so easy to follow the majority, it is rare that we see someone standing up for the rights of the minority. Even one child taking their own life as a result of being picked on is absolutely unacceptable! It is unacceptable because it is preventable! As individuals who are responsible of the future of this world, I think Frederick Douglas said it best, “It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men.”